Days passed, I know it took couple of days before I was able to write again. The truth is I have a hard time due to my battling mind on how will I pen down my thoughts. I have been writing about depression most of the time and it seems that I am overstating this issue. In my mind, I must change the flow of my article. As a victim of this disorder, I must help myself to overcome this, as this has become a regular visitor in my daily life. I know It is not easy but for the important people in my life, I MUST be a fighter no matter how hard the road will be. I would like my readers also to be moved by the message of this piece I wrote.
As I rummaged through my untidy things, I happened to stumble on pile of notebooks (I love notebooks) with some pieces of folded papers. I took one of the folded papers as it was familiar to me. To my surprise, It was a sketch of a crying, lonely woman which I made 2 or 3 years ago. As I was staring at it, flashback of memories clouded my mind. I then remember how dark my world at that moment. Knowing I was at my height of depression that time, while staring at the picture, I realized how blessed I am that I am still alive and still coping.
My present life now compels me to work harder and be inspired to go on. Having my angel (my baby), a loving family, and few true friends give my life brighter meaning. I then remembered one friend who told me about a glass half-full and half-empty. Life will not give you everything you want and will never be the way you want it. You may meet problems and complications along the way. It is up to you on how you handle situations. If you think that the world becomes so mean to you, try to look at the half-full part of the glass and focus on it and be thankful.
If you choose to feel the world as dull and empty, you will never be satisfied and happy. Please don’t stay in darkness, as there are a lot of beautiful things outside. Try to fight, not just for yourself but for the people who care and love you. Life is full of challenges, all we have to do is to keep on moving. Pray… be brave… and go on…
For the past couple of years I have been convincing myself that I moved on. To be honest, It is hard waking up every morning with your first thoughts about your past. Doubtful of the feelings if it is already gone, if not gone, maybe dormant like a volcano, which will explode anytime… scary it is…
Whenever I am being asked if I already passed the process of getting over from an ex, I do tell of course! But there is always a bit of being unsure behind my tone. My subconcious mind ask me if I am really certain of my answers. Reason… I don’t know…
I keep on telling people that the key in moving on is acceptance and not forgetting the past. It may hurt of course. But acceptance of the fact that you are not meant to be will help you surpass the road of the broken-heart and that also will help you to road of healing.
These years I have gone a lot of pain from life’s challenges, including the one with an ex-love. Yes, ex-love… Of all my pasts… this is the hardest one to forget or should I say the one that left a mark in me that even me my self could not erase, although I tried harder. Surely, the kind of love I felt was genuine. They say, if you really love the person, set him free if the circumstance does not agree with your relationship.What happened was that the world was againts us and if we fight for the sake of our own happiness, people around us will be hurt… if that happen, definitely, our life will be messy and unhappy. Agreeing with our destiny to have separate lives is the best decision we’ve made.
Realization occured to me when chance was given, seeing him with his cute child. Awkward it may seem but that feeling was easily washed out when I was able to talk to him with a smiling face, saying how cute is his little one. Joy and relief exploded like firecrackers in my face when he was able to talk back happily. Although little time was granted for me to play with his cute angel while he eagerly allow me. It became so crystal clear to me that we moved on. We moved on succesfully from all the bitterness and heartaches, and that the past is totally past.
After that moment and goodbye, I couldn’t be happier, tears of joy is about to run down my face. A bunch of thank you to our God that finally I could say… I happily moved on.
Long vacation is a dream of everyone. Who doesn’t want? In todays world where everybody is in a hurry for the race of career, the race to meet life goals, the race for the best future each of us are craving, we tend to forget our body. Well… I’m guilty.
Our body are like machines with needs like, needs to cool down, to recharge, and to maintain to function better. Having a healthy lifestyle like eating healthy foods, engaging in exercise or medidation plus regular visit to your favorite physician to track your body are overused advises you will encounter in every minute of your life.
Not that easy… while your mind compels you to work hard for your successful dreams, your body shouts of exhaustion.
Sometimes, you just have to stop, slow your pace, relax and take a break. Your body needs all of these to be more productive and to function as best as you want.
The only thing that makes me love night shifts is that being able to witness sunrise. I admit, many times I escaped from my post just to go out and see the sun coming out like it is saying hello to you. No worries because before I disappear like flash in my area of assignment, I always make it sure that all are clear to avoid troubles.
Everytime I see this colossal, glowing sphere of hot gas, I do want to stand right beneath it with my face held up, eyes close, and arms wide open to feel the warmth that touches my entire skin. I dreamt of doing this and savour the moment of freedom, clear mind, zero worries.
The unexplainable feeling it radiates deep down your soul which creates positive feelings that pushes you to go on. Encouraging it is, like a dose of happy pills, which we all need, especially those who perceive life as struggle.
Everyday I’m looking forward to see the sun rising. To feel the same feeling it gives. To experience the same moment. Like my personal brand of heroine that makes me forget life’s difficulties. Like a fullblast IV meds that makes my mood change rapidly, from feelings of heaviness to cloud-nine of hopes.
Couple of days I was not able to write blog due to zero ideas, or let’s say, I have but I don’t know how to finish. The air blew away the topics I would like to write about and would like also to share. I am fully aware that my previous blogs were all about depression.
Now, i try to gradually change somehow the content of my story. Harder it may be, I am still interested to be better. As I don’t have something from my brain to write about, I urge myself to read other blogs. So blessed to be in a group with same interest which is writing. By reading the inspiring and amazing works of my writer family, I was then comforted and even motivated to write more. Not only that this is one of my hobbies, but also I find satisfaction and comfort in what I do. Moreover, I find it fulfilling to press publish button and to see those individuals who have read my article. I am so delighted also for the comments and conversations with the bloggers from around the globe. Them giving advises and support, boost positivity within you.
Beyond blessed I could say so life must go on whatever and wherever may the road take you. To my co-bloggers, thank you for sharing your thoughts, for the inspiration, for the lessons. 🤗❤🤗
For the past few days… been writing about gloomy moments. I just thought I was over it. I thought I passed the test of my long battle againts depression. I just thought…
I clearly am aware that all my posts were all about me. So self-centered of me huh. But I really don’t care at all. In this bloggers’ world, through writing, I honestly breath out these feelings living inside me.
Hard… so hard… but I was not raised to give up just like that. Still I am in this battle and will fight harder.
Lots of times… I refused to be in this place… Just by hearing the name, my appetite fades in a second. But as I tried to avoid… destiny took me… dragging me helplessly to where I never ever wanted to go. Never in anybody’s imagination what life may do to you. For this, we call life a never-ending challenge. It is all up to you… how you deal with it… how you will live…
Accept the challenges, learn from your mistakes… do better. Everyday is a new day… another chance… Live your life with love.